I’ve always had a deep love for the written word. When I was little, I could spell complicated words easily. Words and reading came effortlessly. And books, oh how I adore books. As a teacher, I have literally thousands of books :) I’m usually always in the middle of reading two or three books at one time. The smell of a book is heavenly to me. I even wrote a children’s book many years ago…no, it didn’t get published. I really love to write, not that I’m great at it... I just really love to write. It’s therapy for me. So, I thought I may start sharing some of my “life stories” with you here. Would you mind?
My oldest child will walk across the stage in a few short months…she’ll graduate from High School. How is that reality? I remember being pregnant with her, as if it were days ago. Memories so vividly etched in my mind, because my first pregnancy didn’t start off as expected. I’d imagined celebrating with family, shopping for baby clothes, even looking forward to a little morning sickness- as evidence of a little life growing inside of me :) Instead, I was sick every day. ALL DAY LONG. Morning noon and night sickness. It was a vicious cycle that lasted well into the second trimester…I’d be sick for days, get dehydrated, admitted into the hospital for fluids, go back home, repeat.
Right in the middle of my second year as a new teacher…and had to stay home due to “chronic morning sickness”. Our community of friends and family covered my husband & me in prayers. Mom would hold my hair back and my dad would bring home new suggestions from friends at work…even to swallow a spoon full of jelly first thing in the morning. Yes, we tried crackers, lemon, ginger, we tried everything. And still, I kept throwing up and up and up :( The sicker I got, the more out-of-control I felt emotionally. I thought something was wrong with me…that I couldn’t handle pregnancy.
My doctor kept promising the baby was healthy. A specialist ran tests just to be sure. On the inside, our baby was a tiny little miracle making her way…even though on the outside I was a mess. Some days I couldn’t pick up my head. Other days I ate three whole crackers. I would lie in bed for days on end in a dark, still room because movement made me worse. To look at me, you’d question how the baby was thriving. And yet inside my belly, the baby was getting all she needed from me to grow and develop and mature.
After several long, depressing months, I stopped getting sick. I stood and looked in the mirror at this bump on my belly that would soon be my own little one. And suddenly I was thankful for the trial. All those months that I was made to be still. That time was sacred, where I cried whole-heartedly out to God to heal and help and restore. And He showed up. I turned over the control to Him. I put my eyes on the ONE who actually carried my baby.
Isn’t this how life goes? One after another, trials come like waves… they crash over us, knocking us to our knees. On the outside it looks as though nothing is right, and life is spiraling out-of-control. On the outside, you can’t hold up your head some days. Our fast-paced world makes us feel as though we fall short, we fail. As moms, as wives, sisters, daughters, friends…we feel like we aren’t good enough. Like we haven’t done enough.
And yet inside, a miracle is happening. God reminds us when we stop to listen…He is all we need. We learn to just let God love us. Just because He does. On the inside, he mends what once was broken. He is all we need. He loves us anyway, everyday. No matter what. He heals and helps and restores. He makes us new. He is enough.
In a few short months our firstborn will head off to college. She will not be at our table for dinner everyday. She might eat lots of fast food and be late for class. Is she ready? I’m not sure. One thing is for sure… we’ve not taught her everything she needs to know. But that’s okay. He is still carrying her.
And He is enough.
Thanks so much for joining me here today!
Remember, you can join our Spring Giveaway HERE.